The Mystery of the Venus Island Fetish by Tim Flannery
Meet Archie Meek. He's about to leave the Venus Islands, where he's lived for the last five years, and return to Sydney, where he'll take his office in the museum and fill it with all the cultural artefacts he's found and wildlife he's plucked or pickled. That's not to ignore the fact he'll count as something quite alien himself, with his filled-out frame, nearly all-over suntan and totemic tattoo, in amongst other changes to his body. But what's this? When he gets back, he finds one of the main Venus Islands artefacts that caused him to go there in the first place, a huge, macabre ceremonial fetish mask, purloined as corporate artwork. And some of the curators he wishes to work alongside have vanished. Is the weird society of the museum he's returning to, perchance, even weirder, stranger and more violent than the cannibalistic society he's waving farewell to? Full review...
The Cat with a Really Big Head by Roman Dirge
How many picture books are there about cats? And how many do you know that you would really NOT prefer your children to see? If the answer to the second question is 'none – yet', scratch that last word. The title piece in this collection is, by the author's own admission, his imagining of the Joseph Merrick (the 'Elephant Man') of the feline world – who struggles to sneak up behind a mouse when the shadow of his head is a total giveaway, and who can hardly even eat with dignity as bending down to his bowl would break his neck. If that's too dark or oddball for you, try the second major piece, which has a most revealing foreword – Dedicated to a certain girl… I hope your life is filled with wonderful accomplishments, love and all the magic you desire… - But I hope your death is slow and horrible. Full review...
Not Far From Dreamland by Val Hennessy
Ronald Tonks has reached that stage in life which I call upper middle age: you've qualified for your pension but not yet got to the free television licence barrier. What Ronald has got is a roof that leaks (there's good reason why his home is called 'the shack'), a dog who is going bald (in patches) and money that's in very short supply. On the plus side he has friends, mostly platonic and usually in much the same boat as Ronald. But are they downhearted? Well, they are occasionally, but mostly they're generously optimistic and out to make the most of what they've got, usually bought from charity shops and jumble sales. Not Far From Dreamland is the story of a year (2012) in the life of Ronald Tonks, his friends and relatives. Full review...
Bill, the Galactic Hero by Harry Harrison
Meet Bill. He's a simple farmer – well, he is taking a correspondence course in being a Technical Fertiliser Operator – but fate has something else in store. And so does the mechanised, technological, industrial military, which needs several billion grunts to fight the Chingers, in mankind's first inter-galactic war. Still, at least he gets medals just for signing up. After that it's all downhill, and the likes of Petty Chief Officer Deathwish Drang can only make that a straight line down. Really, what hope is there? Full review...
William Shakespeare's The Phantom of Menace by Ian Doescher
Join us, good gentles, for a merry reimagining of `Star Wars Episode 1' as only Shakespeare could have written it. 'Tis a true Shakespearean drama, filled with sword fights, soliloquies and doomed romance…all in glorious iambic pentameter and coupled with gorgeous illustrations. Hold on to your midichlorians: The plays the thing, wherein you'll catch the rise of Anakin! Full review...
The Book of Hugs by Attaboy
A hug's a hug, OK? You either do, or you don't. Some people might be a little more enthusiastic about the process whilst others are more elegant in the execution of the hug, but basically you just get on and do it and then forget about it, right? Full review...
Bryant and May – The Burning Man by Christopher Fowler
The Peculiar Crimes Unit (PCU) has a new set of overlords. For reasons that were explored in the previous couple of outings they have been transferred to the City Of London Police. The Met are still the big players in the area. City of London Police only police the old city, the square mile, the financial district in other words, that has very little in the way of street crime, because no-one lives there anymore and the people who work there are, by and large, either too rich to need to steal, or too smart to have to do so on the streets. Full review...
The Little Old Lady Who Struck Lucky Again! by Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg
Following the success of The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules, the League of Pensioners are back – and this time, they’re in Vegas! I haven’t read the first book but it was on my list when the opportunity arose to review this one. The idea of the League of Pensioners marching towards a fairer world through fun and frolics was hugely appealing to me and this is a stand alone novel so I thought I would dive straight in with this one. Full review...
In God We Trust by Winshluss
To start with, a rhetorical test. How about God and Adam playing badminton day in and day out, until one gets bored and decides to create Eve? Or the defeater of Goliath and the saviour of the Israelites being one Conan the Barbarian? Or this as a test – Jesus Himself failing to have a successful session of tequila slammers with Gabriel due to the holes through His hands? I barely need mention that in these pages God does battle with Superman, for you to have answered the test and put yourself firmly in one of two camps for this book – one very much opposed to buying it, and one very much in favour. Full review...
The Queen's Orang-Utan by David Walliams and Tony Ross
The Queen felt trapped in the palace with all those stuffed animals which she has been given on foreign tours. There are mountains of them and every night she would dream of escaping. When her birthday drew near the family dutifully asked her what she would like as a present. The Prince was thinking of a gold, diamond encrusted stairlift whilst the Duke was considering a great big bottle of brandy. The Royal Baby had some decorated thimbles in mind, but the Queen became just a little snappish as she explained that what she really wanted was 'One's own orang-utan'. And she didn't mean a stuffed one, either. Full review...
Silent Night by Jack Sheffield
I read a couple of Jack Sheffield’s books about five years ago, and enjoyed them very much. They were written in a similar style to those popularised by, for instance, James Herriot or Gervase Phinn, told mostly in the first person, describing the author’s first couple of years as Headmaster at a small village primary school in Yorkshire. The village of Ragley is fictional, as are most of the characters, but the incidents and situations encountered are based on the author’s experience. Full review...
See You In Paradise by J Robert Lennon
Lennon writes with a relaxed, easy style and his characters are instantly recognisable as people from everyday walks of life, without being in any way stereotypical. Many of the people in these stories are dealing with normal frustrations, and Lennon is cleverly detached enough not to make them individuals that you're obviously supposed to root for (the only exception is the industrialist in the eponymous tale, who is an archetypal capitalist fat cat). There are some very clever characterisations – in Weber’s Head, for example, the narrator is a flawed individual whose opinions of his housemate are gradually revealed to be unreliable and unfair. For me, the most unsettling story is No Life, because it portrays a decent couple at the mercy of people more powerful and influential than them. There is no supernatural or bizarre element at work here, just ordinary characters at the mercy of social power. Full review...
Cat out of Hell by Lynne Truss
Meet Alec Charlesworth. He's retired and decamped to an isolated coastal cottage with just his dog and loving memories of his colleague wife, now that she has died before her time. But the fusty librarian cannot rest too long before engaging in exploring some unusual computer files that were pinged across by someone at the college he worked at, just before he left. Bizarrely they show photographic and audio evidence of a talking cat called Roger, replete with Vincent Price voice – although they are also damaged by being included alongside some bad screenplay attempts about said cat. Worryingly, we soon see what at the most only a few of the characters can, that this cat is being accompanied by unusual and unexpected death – much like Alec's wife. It's only when Roger testifies to having been pushed through the ends of endurance and out the other side that we begin to doubt where the true evil in this story lies… Full review...
Wallace & Gromit : The Complete Newspaper Strips Collection Vol 2 by Jimmy Hansen and Mychailo Kazybird
For me there are two important areas of the cover of this book where three letters are arranged in meaningful ways. The first is with the S-U-N in their obligatory red and white font. No minor paper could hold Wallace and Gromit, their adventures have to be in what is (unfortunately) the most widely read tabloid in the country. And elsewhere is C-B-E, suggesting that even the storytellers at Aardman Animations who are not household names are feted and revered as artistic experts, raising many laughs and much money for the country courtesy of their creative output. Together these short collections of letters show just how much WaG are major creations, and if the proof was needed this much longer collection of their daily comic strips provides it in spades. Full review...
Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher
Jason Fitger (Jay) is a Professor of creative writing and literature at a small university in the American mid-west. He is also a frustrated novelist with a colourful personal history, much of which bleeds into his professional life, with interesting results. Full review...
Mapp and Lucia Omnibus by E F Benson
Miss Elizabeth Mapp rules the town of Tilling - she is the centre of the social life, and spends her days enjoying bridge, polite conversation and civilised painting. When Mrs Emmeline Lucas arrives in town (known to all as Lucia), Miss Mapp finds her life truly shaken up, as the cultured, fashionable and progressive Lucia makes her home in the town, and swiftly rises to the top of the ranks amongst the social scene in Tilling. Full review...
Encyclopedia Paranoiaca by Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf
We're screwed. Wherever we look, whatever we think of doing, there is a reason why we shouldn't be doing it, and people to back that reason up with scientific data. Take any aspect of your daily life – what you eat, how you work, how you rest even, what you touch – all have problems that could provoke a serious illness or worse. And outside that daily sphere there are economic disasters, nuclear meltdowns, errant AI scientists and passing comets that could turn our world upside down at the blink of an eye. Perhaps then you better read this book first – for it may well turn out to be your last… Full review...
Diary of a Mad Diva by Joan Rivers
The late Joan Rivers was, without a doubt, a character. Actress, comedian, writer, director, presenter, she was well known in the USA and beyond for her sharp tongue and no holds barred persona. This was the last of the dozen books she published, her final title before her death in September 2014. Full review...
The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy - The Nearly Definitive Edition by Douglas Adams
There are few series that have garnered such a cult following as 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. Whether the fans have come from the radio series, the (impossibly hard) computer game, or the (well intentioned but not particularly good) film, they are everywhere. Ask a room of people what the meaning of life is, and you can be pretty sure a good few will pipe up with '42' as the answer. Full review...
Quick Pint After Work by Luke Lewis
BuzzFeed is one of the world’s best time sucks, and I’m regularly directed to the site by links from Facebook and Twitter, in between browsing the app on my phone. According to the author bio on this book, BuzzFeed is 'a social news and entertainment company', which is a fancy way of describing lots of fun lists that speak to the readership (20 words that have a completely different meaning in Manchester, 30 Things all ex-gymnasts know to be true, 40 Very British problems, yadda yadda yadda). These list work well on line when you want a quick distraction, and they’re easy to flip through, looking at the attached photos or video clips. The question then, is whether or not BuzzFeed the book will have the same appeal. Full review...
The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion
Following inadvertent success with the Wife Project, Professor Don Tillman and his new bride Rosie have moved from Australia to New York. Although Don's position on the autistic scale is subjective, he still operates on a daily basis of structured procedures, lists and logic. Rosie can generally handle that but there are choppy waters ahead. With the patter of tiny feet imminent logic goes out the window as she struggles with her PhD while Don struggles to find his place in the baby production process. At least he has his drinking buddies to support him – an aging rock drummer and a friend whose wife has thrown him out for infidelity. What could possibly go wrong? Full review...
Burnt Tongues: An Anthology of Transgressive Short Stories by Chuck Palahniuk, Dennis Widmyer and Richard Thomas
Saying certain things out loud just don’t sound right. Some things are so disturbing or politically incorrect that you are best off leaving them inside your head, or better yet not thinking of them at all. When these words are spoken they could lead to the sensation of Burnt Tongue; an aftereffect of knowing what you said was wrong. Are you prepared to enter the world of Transgressive Fiction that aims to disturb, alienate, disgust and question? Full review...
Something Nasty in the Slushpile by Sammy Looker
I couldn't resist the title - a neat play on Cold Comfort Farm and I'm sure that you'll understand that I was expecting some examples of the horrors to be found amongst the mountain of unsolicited manuscripts which every publisher accumulates. I'll confess I was expecting to giggle, even to groan - unkind, I know - and I'd mentally shelved the book with the trivia, or (hopefully) the humour. There is that element to the book, but there's also something far more useful. If you're thinking about publishing a book this should be required reading before you even go near a publisher. Full review...
Still Reigning by The Queen
Anyone who frequents Twitter will know that it's a mixed blessing. It's a mine of wonderful information and supportive camaraderie. It's also - unfortunately - home to a lot of people who take great pleasure in causing pain to others. But in amongst all this are a few gems and one of them is @Queen_UK, a delightful satire on members of the royal family, celebrities, the political classes and the state of Her Majesty's nation. Or, one's nation as Ma'am would say. Still Reigning is her second book, after Gin O'Clock and it's the sort of parody which leaves you wondering if the writer might not be someone very close to the original. Full review...
Last Days of the Bus Club by Chris Stewart
I could well have been a near-neighbour of Chris Stewart. Not, of course, near his current primary occupancy, an ecological farmstead just beyond the turning off from the back end of nowhere in the most rural of corners of southern Spain, but back when he lived in the south-east of England, being Genesis' first ever drummer, and building bridges in the North Downs. The fact I learnt the latter from this book shows up several of the features of this warm-hearted 'travelogue' – the fact that Stewart is never shy about portraying family details and history – given a good map and a prevailing wind one could find where he lives and descend on the farm, if one wished; and that while this might be on the travel shelves, the narrative is so fragmented it actually moves a lot more than any of the characters do. Full review...
Summer Half by Angela Thirkell
If one didn’t know of Angela Thirkell’s distinguished background as a granddaughter of Sir Edward Burne-Jones and daughter of a classicist, it would be tempting to describe her as a kind of country cousin of P.G. Wodehouse’s. An unaffected and intelligent one, whose humour is less sophisticated but bubbles over with just as much glee. The middle-class world she has created, where young men come from families that are comfortably wealthy rather than outrageously so, offers a counterpoint to the Mitford or Wodehouse worlds with their aristocratic characters who travel the world and mingle with more louche, bohemian ones. Full review...
The Bojeffries Saga by Alan Moore and Steve Parkhouse
A very truncated history of comics will start with the idea that they should be funny strips – one jape then you're out; then that they should have more – perhaps a superhero; then that you can have so much more than just a superhero – witness the works of Alan Moore. But you mustn't be too surprised to see the whole thing come around in a full cycle. Because Alan Moore has, with this volume, concluded his own funny strip japery, and whatever history or greater opinions about the canon of comix might say, it's just about his best ever book. Full review...
The Rev Diaries by Reverend Adam Smallbone
Adam Smallbone wasn’t always a vicar. He used to work for the Bristol Housing Department, enabling his father-in-law to tell everyone he worked 'in property'. From there, his initial calling was to a rural church in Suffolk which did nothing to prepare him for this, his current London inner city parish. Indeed, he's not prepared for Adoha (the Nigerian parishioner with 19 grandchildren and 'the bottom of God') or Colin, the homeless alcoholic who has adopted Adam and his wife Alex (Mrs Vicarage to Colin). But then Alex also has a lot to get used to; after all, she didn't actually marry a vicar. Full review...
Look Who's Back by Timur Vermes
Hitler Youth Ronaldo! Which way to the street? With these words a very misguided Nazi Fuhrer asks for his first directions in the Berlin of 2011. Mistakenly believing the lad to be a party junior member with his own name on his football shirt, he also thinks for a while it is still 1945. He's soon informed of the truth, but still makes some unfortunate conclusions – that the street kiosks selling Turkish language newspapers are a sign of a Soviet-beating alliance between the two countries, that people eat granola bars because the war still leads to a bread shortage, and that people making an ironic speech bubble with their fingers in the air is all that is left of the Hitler salute. But yes, after a long hiatus neither he nor our author is particularly concerned with explaining, that man is back – and if he has his way he's going to be just as popular this time round… Full review...