The Interview: Bookbag Talks To The Queen

Her Majesty does not do interviews, but all at Bookbag dropped their Union Jack flags and waved a curtsy when The Queen of Twitter made a royal visit to Bookbag Towers.

• Bookbag: Your Majesty, when one closes one’s eyes and imagines one’s readers, who does one see?

The Interview: Bookbag Talks To The Queen

Summary: Her Majesty does not do interviews, but all at Bookbag dropped their Union Jack flags and waved a curtsy when The Queen of Twitter made a royal visit to Bookbag Towers.

Date: 14 August 2014

Interviewer: Sue Magee

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The Queen: One imagines a very attractive and tasteful bunch, listening to Freddie Mercury, flicking through one's book and quietly chuckling to themselves at the sheer stupidity of politicians.

• BB: After reigning for more than sixty years there can be few people who are unaware of how hard-working you are, Ma’am. Do you ever feel that there are those in the younger generation of Royals who lack your commitment?

@Queen_UK: No, Prince Harry's commitment is legendary. He never misses an opportunity to get the crown jewels out on a foreign trip. And William worked exceptionally hard. In fact, just last week he averaged more than 47 nappy changes per day. Extraordinary.

• BB: Abdication seems to be gaining favour. Has you reluctance to follow the trend any hint of après moi, le déluge when you look at those who will follow you?

@Queen_UK: One took a solemn oath to reign until The Lord sees fit to call one and one's not deviating. Abdication might be all the rage on the continent, but on this, the right side of the Channel, we have a little more of a sense of commitment. Besides, one loves one's people far too much to leave them with Cameron, Clegg and the other one from Labour. No, one shall reign for a while. The DoE says a party hat is the closest thing Charles will get to a crown for a while.

• BB: Your Majesty will no doubt be conscious of your legacy. What advice would you give to Mrs Carole Middleton when she becomes Queen Mother?

@Queen_UK: Mrs 'I do wish you'd call me Carole' Middleton will not be Queen Mother. She will be known as 'Biological Maternal Figure to the Wife of The King'

• BB: You combine being Head of State with Supreme Governor of the Church of England with admirable flair. Most other leaders settle for a Church or a State. Do you think this is because of their (usually male) inability to multi-task?

@Queen_UK: One's not one to be picky, as you know dear, but one in fact combines being Queen of sixteen sovereign nations, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, Supreme Governor of the Church of England and Captain America, so multitasking is not the word.

• BB: I sense that you are worried by Prince Harry’s readiness to display the crown jewels and his father seems to have little influence over him. Do you think it might help if the Duchess of Cornwall had a word?

@Queen_UK: Oh God, no. HRH The Duchess of Cornwall, director of fun in the Royal Household, is worse than Prince Harry when it comes to throwing a good party. We found her on the Balmoral lake this morning, rowing a canoe she's carved from the biggest marrow you have ever seen and flying a Royal Standard behind her the size of a super king duvet.

• BB: What does one mix with one’s gin?

@Queen_UK: Vodka.

• BB: If one wasn’t Queen, what would one like to have been?

@Queen_UK: Dolly Parton

• BB: Do you enjoy reading, Ma’am and what are you reading at present?

@Queen_UK: One is an avid reader. At the moment, one is about half way through MI5's physiological assessment of Nick Clegg. It's a short read.

• BB: What's next for Your Majesty?

@Queen_UK: One's new book, Still Reigning, Thoughts of a Queen, is out on 28th August so one will be doing an extensive signing tour of the Commonwealth. Otherwise one shall mainly be reigning.

• BB: Thank you for honouring us with your thoughts, Ma'am.

Editor's Note

The Queen was 89 when we discovered that she had another occupation.

Check out Bookbag's exciting features section, with interviews, top tens and editorials.

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