''Arsecheese.''
Not much by way of introduction, is it? Hector Blunty has a brain tumour, Henry. And ''arsecheese'' is the way Henry Tumour says hello. Hector is a geeky kid with geeky friends. He likes the Justice League, Star Trek, science and girls. But he knows he stands no chance with girls. Hector, with his aging ageing hippy mother, distinct lack of cool, poor fighting skills and now his talking brain tumour, is a bit of loser. But Hector doesn't mind too much. His friends are good friends. And he's never wanted to win by fighting anyway.
A quiet and contemplative life trying to avoid the bullies in the school's minor leagues is not what Henry Tumour has in mind though. For Henry knows only too well that life is all too short - and his life in particular. He's going to die soon and there's a very big possibility that he'll take Hector with him. Henry is, understandably, all for the moment. So he talks and talks and talks to Hector. And while he's talking, he tinkers with Hector's brain. Suddenly, Hector finds himself standing up to the school bullies and snogging the school sex symbol, Uma Upshaw, she of the the perfect bra-busters (even her initals, UU, look like bazoomas).