View source for Where I've Not Been Lost by Glen Sibley

{{infobox1
|title=Where I've Not Been Lost
|author=Glen Sibley
|reviewer=Jill Murphy
|genre=General Fiction
|summary=A lovely kitchen sink story of emerging from crisis and re-engaging with the world. Sad moments yes, but a cast of wonderful characters and some genuinely funny moments.
|rating=4.5
|buy=Yes
|borrow=Yes
|pages=321
|publisher=Dunsmore Publishing
|date=August 2023
|isbn=978-1739526917
|cover=1739526910
|aznuk=1739526910
|aznus=1739526910
}}
''One year after a suicide attempt blows apart musician Brian O’Malley's life, he arrives in an unfamiliar Devon town to recover. Living with an unexpected housemate at his former manager’s holiday home, he dreams of reconnecting with everything he has lost. But as those tentative plans falter, he becomes swept up in a local world of unlikely friendships, mobile discos and surprising romantic possibilities.''

''Where I've Not Been Lost'' opens with descriptions of not one, but two, suicide attempts. They aren't easy to read. But you need to read them so that you can read the rest of this gentle, absorbing, sometimes funny, sometimes sad, novel which has new starts, second chances, and self acceptance as its major themes.

Firstly and possibly most importantly, I'd like to acknowledge the responsible and sensitive way suicide has been treated in this novel. Too many fictional narratives and too much reporting fixes on one cause or a single traumatic event as a trigger with an almost inevitable result - it makes plotting easier and news reports more impactful. But we know this isn't true and presenting it as if it is can be very dangerous. If you're unsure about this, these are the [https://www.samaritans.org/about-samaritans/media-guidelines/media-guidelines-reporting-suicide/ Samaritans guidelines]. In ''Where I've Not Been Lost'', Sibley does not do this. Instead, the reader is taken on a journey through everything that made Brian think about giving up on life - grief for his father, a promising band that never quite happened, a relationship beginning to fail, depression - and we are shown how complex the picture really is. There's no magic bullet of a cure or deus ex machina coming to save Brian either. He does that for himself, by putting one foot in front of the other and by engaging with the world and the people he meets as well as those he knew before. So brava.

I live in Devon myself so I loved the description of Totnes and its artsy scene existing side-by-side with the much more practical West Country natives. One of the most enjoyable things about this novel is the range of disparate characters that people its pages - Brian himself, trying to rejoin the world, Tam and Connie in their intense relationship, Geoff, full of bluster but with a soft centre, and James and Beatty and Pip and so many more people to get to know, each with their own joys and tribulations. I also thought that Brian's gradual emergence from a big black hole into a world that could hold potential for him was skilfully and sensitively told - from the early days in which even the most mundane social interaction filled him with anxiety through some forays into romance, to the end, where he's fulfilling his obligations to his friends and taking pleasure in it - this is all done so well and in a subtle way. I rooted for Brian all the way through.

Oh, and it's also funny! I would like to see a whole story about bumptious Geoff - the absolute ''boss'' of the disco inferno - with a heart of gold. He made me laugh.

I thought ''Where I've Not Been Lost'' was a lovely story. It's concerned with messy, real, kitchen sink lives and not a grand narrative that crumbles on contact with any semblance of reality, and because of that, it packs a gradual, but very impactful punch.
Recommended.

I'd usually point you to another book to read to close off a review but this time, I'll send you somewhere else. If you are struggling, [https://www.samaritans.org/ the Samaritans] can help. Please don't suffer alone.

You can read more about Glen Sibley [[:Category:Glen Sibley|here]].

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